My oldest child is about to turn five. She will leave what I consider to be a preschool phase and begin a whole new phase of being a child, a kindergartner. She believes that being five mean being a 'big girl' and she'll soon discover, in her own way, exactly what that means. Thinking about her upcoming birthday has caused me to reflect on the past years and how much she has changed and how much my mothering has adapted.

She was born in Spring 2004 and became the center of my world. I was suddenly a new mother struggling to understand and care for another helpless human being. I was also new at being a stay-at-home mom and trying to find all the necessary fulfillment from that job. I was trying to develop my style of parenting while balancing the advice I didn't yet understand how to brush off. I did so much for her with the utmost care and patience. Even the simple task of bathing her was treated as a time of bonding and learning; a time of togetherness and love that always began our bedtime routine.

Then I had more children.

What started with a temperature gauge to test the heat of the water has turned into a quick check with a finger. While I used to fill the tub with bath time letters, art supplies, and toys, I now keep only a small cup used for rinsing. My oldest used to have the best baby wash and shampoo designed especially for dry baby skin. Now I make all the kids use whatever kid shampoo and soap was on sale at the wholesale club. Bath time used to last about 30 minutes. Now I can bathe all three of them in under 10 minutes.

There were always fresh towels and washcloths ready when my oldest emerged from the bubbles. Now I only change them out on laundry day or when they actually start to smell. My oldest would be lotioned up and powdered down after each and every bath. Now they are lucky if I remember the cream for an occasional diaper rash. Every pair of pajamas my oldest wore were chosen with care and coordinated with her onesie and socks. I'm not even sure any of my kids actually wear matching pajamas now. Bath time always ended with my oldest having her hair brushed, ears cleaned, nails trimmed, and teeth brushed. I'm lucky if I check nails and ears once every couple weeks.

I don't think any of this makes me a bad mother. I don't love my youngest two any less than I love my oldest child. I just think she was exposed to the mothering I was only capable of when I had one child. I may not focus as much time and attention to bath time now, but I'm a much more patient, crafty, and relaxed mother. I'm capable of achieving the bonding, togetherness, and the learning in ways that are silly, fun, and full of chaos. I'm grateful to be the mother of three great kids, but I'm even more grateful that five years and three kids has helped me discover that kids are loved just as much even with a dingy wash cloth and quick rinse off.

Originally posted on AtlantaAreaMommies.com